Saturday, June 16, 2007

From Belchford to Goonbell

In the early 1960s, columnist Leonard Lyons complained to President John F. Kennedy that JFK's signature was only worth $65 to collectors - compared to $175 for George Washington and $75 for Franklin Roosevelt. Kennedy responded:

Dear Leonard: In order not to depress the market any further, I will not sign this letter.

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At dinner, Winston Churchill asked his American hostess, "May I have a breast?" She replied: "In this country, it is customary to ask for white or dark meat." The next day, as an apology, Churchill sent her an orchid, with a card that said:

Madam: I would be most obliged if you would pin this on your white meat. - Winston Churchill

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Jack London's publisher sent him the following letter when the famous novelist missed a publishing deadline:

My dear Jack London: If I do not receive those stories from you by noon tomorrow, I'm going to put on my heaviest soled shoes, come down to your room, and kick you downstairs. I always keep my promises. - Editor

London wrote back:

Dear Sir: I, too, would always keep my promises if I could fulfill them with my feet. - Jack London

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Some names of places in Britain: Crackpot, Dorking, Fattahead, Goonbell, Dull, Muck, Mold, Moss of Barmuckity, Belchford, Burpham, Lickey End, Spital in the Street, Bug's Bottom, Horsey, Bunny, Corney, Pig Street, Dog Village, Donkey Town, Toad's Mouth, Maggots End, Crazies Hill, Bat and Ball, Pity Me, No Place, Limpley Stoke, Butcombe, and Great Bulging.

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The movement you need is on your shoulder.

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